impossible future

Say ahhhhh..., a photo by mord on Flickr.

Somewhere you wanted to be badly but couldn't, connected to an event by a great friend. Feeling selfish and unselfish and without direction, long long walk yesterday and meal with whole family, photos of flowers. Alcohol to numb into sleep. Missing someone you never had is strange, making up an impossible future in your head. Sea I need the today, to come away and wash away my thoughts an replace them with a focus on everything I do have.

Cheironomy

Mozart, a photo by mord on Flickr.

It's nice sometimes to have every little detail of your live planned, it can feel comforting and safe, but at the end of the day chaos is what rules the universe.

Pain that I'm used to.

Twins, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Yearning and wanting is a bizzare feeling, I don't understand why we humans need to be looking for more all the time, the human condition is that we are never truly satisfied with what we have. Or does love just throw everything that came before away ?

Is it too late to touch you, Dear

Untitled, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Is it too late to touch you, Dear? @ Emily Dickinson

Is it too late to touch you, Dear?
We this moment knew --
Love Marine and Love terrene --
Love celestial too --

heart

heart, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Love's Philosophy ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine? -

See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?

tree at work

tree at work, a photo by mord on Flickr.

I don't really get why human connections can be so intense, but everything fades, suppose we are programmed to make connections for the good of the species but nature has given us shields against emotions and loss. Craving and need are painful sometimes.

Fat Mord

gay mord, a photo by mord on Flickr.

So I have now finally done enough fatty food and drinking to feel my feet hurting ( due to weight and small feet ) so today ( DAY 1 ) cutting down on cheese, butter and alcohol. Need to be as thin as this photo again. Watched some great Euro footy on tely and took some photos with the tiny Panasonic camera I got off ebay in town.