craving

DSCF6356, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Even Through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin

Constant craving
Has always been

Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
That feeds wisdom
To it's youth
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/k/kd+lang/constant+craving_20077006.html ]
Constant craving
Has always been

Craving
Ah ha
Constant craving
Has always been

Constant craving
Has always been
Constant craving
Has always been

Craving
Ah ha
Constant Craving
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been

loosing

DSCF8403, a photo by mord on Flickr.

I don't know what you're looking for
you haven't found it baby, that's for sure
You rip me up and spread me all around
in the dust of the deed of time

And this is not a case of lust, you see
it's not a matter of you versus of me
It's fine the way you want me on your own
but in the end it's always me alone

And I'm losing my favourite game
you're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby
losing my favourite game

I only know what I've been working for
another you so I could love you more
I really thought that I could take you there
but my experiment is not getting us anywhere

I had a vision I could turn you right
a stupid mission and a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
my heart is black and my body is blue

And I'm losing my favourite game
you're losing your mind again
I'm losing my favourite game
I've tried but you're still the same
I'm losing my baby
you're losing a saviour and a saint

I'm Nobody!

DSCF8444, a photo by mord on Flickr.

I'm Nobody! Who are you? (260) Emily Dickinson

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one's name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog!

Alone

DSCF8996, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Alone Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

A list of sense ?

Green face, a photo by mord on Flickr.

I'm quick at silly stupid lists and taking the mickey out of other people's lists perhaps I should try real ones.

1. Stop drinking to numb, doesn't really work anyway.
2. Loose weight get fit, always feel better REMEMBER THIS!
3. More time outside as much time outside
4. Hide the technology ( cameras not included )
5. Work harder in work the day flies
6. New volunteering, make a difference anyway else
7. Draw and paint ( yes it will be awful )
8. More music , fill life with music
9. More live events
10. Stop the lists too controlled and planning just do stuff randomly,

I am a creep.

impossible future

Say ahhhhh..., a photo by mord on Flickr.

Somewhere you wanted to be badly but couldn't, connected to an event by a great friend. Feeling selfish and unselfish and without direction, long long walk yesterday and meal with whole family, photos of flowers. Alcohol to numb into sleep. Missing someone you never had is strange, making up an impossible future in your head. Sea I need the today, to come away and wash away my thoughts an replace them with a focus on everything I do have.

Cheironomy

Mozart, a photo by mord on Flickr.

It's nice sometimes to have every little detail of your live planned, it can feel comforting and safe, but at the end of the day chaos is what rules the universe.

Pain that I'm used to.

Twins, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Yearning and wanting is a bizzare feeling, I don't understand why we humans need to be looking for more all the time, the human condition is that we are never truly satisfied with what we have. Or does love just throw everything that came before away ?

Is it too late to touch you, Dear

Untitled, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Is it too late to touch you, Dear? @ Emily Dickinson

Is it too late to touch you, Dear?
We this moment knew --
Love Marine and Love terrene --
Love celestial too --

heart

heart, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Love's Philosophy ~ Percy Bysshe Shelley

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine? -

See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?

tree at work

tree at work, a photo by mord on Flickr.

I don't really get why human connections can be so intense, but everything fades, suppose we are programmed to make connections for the good of the species but nature has given us shields against emotions and loss. Craving and need are painful sometimes.

Fat Mord

gay mord, a photo by mord on Flickr.

So I have now finally done enough fatty food and drinking to feel my feet hurting ( due to weight and small feet ) so today ( DAY 1 ) cutting down on cheese, butter and alcohol. Need to be as thin as this photo again. Watched some great Euro footy on tely and took some photos with the tiny Panasonic camera I got off ebay in town.

Found my young friend who I blogged about many moons ago and she's doing this cool Circus project.

Stones through ice

Stones through ice, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Candles round the bath

Hot baths with windows open

Making people laugh

Fizzy pop up the nose

Taking photos

Eating out

Watching children become mature and experiencing new things

Scratching any itch

Dancing

Spicy food

Helicoptering cats

Kait and Dad

Kait and Dad, a photo by mord on Flickr.

There is just something about analogue.

Loads of likes on Facebook, should I be posting all photos to facebook, is flickr dead ?

Cold but it's not cold, so few tiny photos on a floppy need more floppies.

Blob lamp very weird on cold weather, cats won't go out little Christmas tree white, Joe says it feels like Christmas.

Seeing Beautiful Betty tomorrow. Tea.

Thinking about Wim O Bush hope she's happy.

Mushy peas.

Orbital period

Orbital period, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Cheese Friday2 Mexican and Camembert.

Director involved with Welsh chilli cheese.

Battery for floppy disk camera arrived so first project is super low tech photos and the joy of getting them from a floppy, oooo errr missus.

That said I have no drive to get the photos off.

minus temps a cold snap

Lord of the Rings on blue ray, charley breaking
into boxes.

Tired and old today.

Snow tommorow ? I do hope so.

Where did January go, time is speeding up.

on top

on top, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Washing machine fail.

Cats bothering me as they are bored, roll on spring when they go out.

Changes to weekend group, Joseph not allowed.

Beard cat weazle, hair wiggy, playing at being Santa, dry for a week.

Photo ideas, macros with light tent thing, might need lights, night photos, some dusk and dawn while days are short, street shots, random places where I've never been in Cardiff. Try portrait. Cats and cat videos. Still need the different camera each week thing. Camera club at work idea.

How did we get to be this far apart?

How did we get to be this far apart?, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Chan dal.

Nice walk in Fforest Fawr, brand new office shoes covered in mud, testaclay on barbed wire to get to dangerous drop. Blue pool snooker with floating logs.. Joseph found Milky Joe. Charley has a dog tail. Fancy subway.

Dandelion soul

Dandelion soul, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Slept terrible ( if at all ) work easing in and quiet, car park swimming pool, window leaking, new binocs much better.

Drive home almost a record and actually some natural light to drive by.

Decos coming down, tree now out the back still alive and probably in ectasy at being in the cold and wet, ok so trees can't feel like that.

Listening to Arcade Fire and need to make more CDs for the car.

Weather really intersesting.

Should I blog every day ? Trying twitter again but don't really get it, think it only works if you're logged on all the time.

Proud Keeley

Proud Keeley, a photo by mord on Flickr.

Christmas 2012 lasted forever. it's nearly over and looking forward to getting nack to work.

Beans and chips is Asda and cofee in M&S with wifey.

My 5mW laser lasted 3 goes photos started for 2012, weight loss must happen after birthday and gradual cut down on booze.

Charley still packing on the pounds, 18 inch waist.

Must take shells and Bratz to work, oh and Simon's cat mouse mat.

Don't do lists or resolutions but want to start photo projects and random stuff, change volunteering and get house sorted.